Bar Chat

[Brian]

Two guys are chatting in a bar. One says "Did you know that lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?"

"Damn," says his friend. " And I just joined the Elks

[WOW_FCTR]

A termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"

[REBEL]

One wall say’s to another wall “meet you at the corner” get it, wall to wall meet at the corner, two walls meet in corner, you know form a corner with two walls, ah never mind!

[REBEL]

From the e-mail crap

I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got
out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started.....



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and
realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me'
and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'

And then the fight started.....

[Cash]

"I'm not Happy" good one Rebel!

I was pulling a chain down the road one day.
A guy walked up and asked "why are you pulling a chain down the road"?
I said "Have you ever tried pushing one of these things"?

As a young lad I had my first experience with buying condoms.
With great embarrassment I walked up to the counter and asked the young lady if I could purchase some condoms.
She told me they come in a package of three or by the box of a dozen.
"How much for three"? I asked being as I had very little money.
She replied "That will be $7.50 plus tax".
I thought about it and said "I'll take them but forget the tacks, I'll tie them on"!