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Old 05-12-2007, 06:35 AM   #1 (permalink)
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MAKING A BABY...

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is soooo funny.

Making a Baby, the Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided
to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy
father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,
"Well,I'm off now The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been
expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good.
Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat". After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and
me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.
But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be
in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with
that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins t urned out exceptionally well - when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the
job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a
good look". "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with
amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three
hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could
hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my
shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I
just had to pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean
they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
and we can get to work right away." "Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted.


(This one OK Focks??)
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Old 05-12-2007, 11:12 AM   #2 (permalink)
Machell
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Cute, very cute!
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Old 05-12-2007, 11:55 AM   #3 (permalink)
Slingshot Rules!
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Old 05-12-2007, 12:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Old 05-14-2007, 10:04 AM   #5 (permalink)
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