Regarding the ashtray stem, mine didn't line up properly and it also broke off. I purchased some very small rectangular magnets (at Lowe's) and super glued a set on each side of the stem (in the recessed areas). The ash tray door works great and you can barely see the modification.
I gave this subject a lot of thought. In my R no one will ever smoke, but are we short of minor storage cabin space? Yes, so here is what I did. I took that plastic problem component out & using a Dremel, my friend cut out the face which included the ash tray & cigarette lighter. Now I have good accessible space for stuff that I would prefer not to place in the console or glove box. I just leave it in the down position & it looks fine.