Buying***Dealer Vs. Private party

Friends,
I've lately been reading where some people have had alot of problems with double talking dealers. This is the main reason why I buy my cars or trucks through two sources!
1. www.autotrader.com
2. www.cars.com

Both web sites allow you to do an advanced search so you can really pin point the vehicle you want. For an example I did a daily search for about three months till I found a used 2005 Black SSR 2-23-2005 for $38,000. To find a deal like this
I had to look every day and when the vehicle pops up you better be ready to ROLL!!! I live here in Phx and the SSR was Sacremento,I flew there and drive that baby home. The few times i take it out for a spin it really gets the looks.
Currently I'am looking to buy a new 2005 crew cab Tacoma Speedway Blue. I've talked with 3 dealewrs so far and I;am dealing with the same old crap!
I had one deal DONE and I gave my Credit card for the deposit. The fleet guy call me 4 days later and says Oh sorry I forgot to add the shipping charge of 565.00. Is this OK can we still go forward? WHAT??? we already agreed on a out the door price and now its changing???
So now were at the crossroads again and I'am thinking of locating my truck used.
Good luck in your searches.......BRay