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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
***Normally we all receive a couple of relatives/friends holiday letters that seem to go on and on with family reunions, activities and how great little Johnnie is doing in his school work and other activities throughout the past year. I was shocked to see this kind of holiday letter that was the most craziest one I have read yet***

..."As for me business has improved some, however material prices skyrocketed, (darn Chinese), so it could have been better. Well after laying low for 30 years I was finally nailed for jury duty and naturally I ended up on a murder trail and it was a woman. Fortunately for us she was probably the stupidest murderer you are likely to meet. Our heroine was a toll collector at the *** border bridge and decided to leave her common law husband of 15 years. She also decided she didn’t want to divide the property with him so she seduced an ex-con Grizzly Adams look a like truck driver to shoot him. To make a long story short they did, (seven times in his head with his own gun). When the cops found a letter he wrote saying if I wind up dead it was her and her boyfriend, she not only turned in the boyfriend she led police to all the lover letters they wrote she’d thrown in the dumpster. Like I said, stupid. She said she thought the boyfriend was only going to talk to him and the gunshot residue on her shirt was the clincher. The verdict was unanimous but we decided to deliberate long enough to get the free lunch. Her boyfriend was tried separately and both got life.

Further into the letter "...Michelle graduated from St. Mary’s in May. Yes our 9 year financial nightmare of tuition payments has come to a merciful end. … We’re thrilled to say no car accidents this year. Unless you count the car-jacking. That technically wasn’t an accident although the crack head maniac did play bumper cars with the local traffic until he drove it into a guardrail down in Annapolis. She’s physically unhurt but still shook up. With Michelle there’s always a silver lining so of course it was totaled and now she has yet another new car. The best silver lining however is that she’s still paying for it. If it weren’t for bad luck, well you know. Yeah they caught him. He’s in jail.

That’s all from the pond this year. What could next year possible bring barbed hooks? Everyone have a great Christmas and hopefully we’ll see you in the New Year.”

The odd holiday context in that letter made me chuckle for an half hour! :jester
 
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