Not necessarily nuts, but a little off the wall, Maybe. I sell ski boats for a living, usually tow with a Duramax. I have a lowered 4 x 4 Sonoma that works great under certain circumstances. It's got airbags to keep it on the level. Not the ultimate tow vehicle, but it's typically short distances - I take a boat with me when I go to car shows. What's so nuts about that - No one would really pay attention, or necesarily want me in a car show with a work truck towing a boat. I'm there looking for customers - usually free entry, or at a very reasonable cost. I've got 10000 potential customers at some of these shows.
IS there anything out there that will attract more attention than rolling in with a red SSR?
The SSR is built on the Trailblazer frame, same engine and transmission. The blazer is rated at 7200 lbs - this baby could tow with the best of them, if properly set up. Heck - it weighs 4700 lbs - it's a truck. There may be issues with the tires (message from BMBLBEE), but that can be worked out.
Nothing aftermarket wheels with run flats can't fix.
I'll forward a couple of photos of the truck and boat - it might make more sense then.